My greatest fear was..

Most children are afraid of the dark things that are easy but my greatest fear was something that laid much deeper inside. As weird as it may sound my greatest fear was love. I was a child who was abandoned time after time after the words "I love you" came out. I was a child who associated pain with love. As I got older boys came into the picture and after soon long when they would start to say they cared about it that they may love I would run as fast as I could in the opposite direction because again I associated these words with pain, fear, loneliness, and violence. Love was not something that I wanted to feel and it was certainly not something I wanted someone to feel for me. Unlike most children my fear did not go away once I got older but my fear grew deeper and colder. Until one day I met a goofy boy who would change my entire world by changing my entire view on how I saw this world. He showed me that love is kind and should not be painful and should never means violence. This was a hard fear to get over and i still struggle with these fears everyday, praying that I will be good enough praying that I will not do anything wrong. Its taken me a long time to find out that love does not need to be earned but that it should be given. Thank you God for loving me for who I am and thank you God for sending me a boy who would change my world and give me your message that I am enough  just being Melissa.