Control

In the story A brave new world, there was a sense of control. There was control of who people were with what they felt, and who people were able to be with. People could only be who they were meant to be everyone has their place and that was what was excepted to be followed. There was an order and the lower people had to except that. Not only were they not able to control their place but they also were not allowed to control how they felt about anything. They were conditioned to act and feel a certain way. They were not able to feel love, anger, sadness, fear, loss, it was like they were not people at all. They were also not allowed to be able to stay with one person because this would cause love and that was not acceptable. People were not allowed to have love for anything not having husbands, children or mothers. People also would not get old the control in this book was simply mind-blowing. I could not even consider not being able to think or feel emotions for myself. 

Strength

What exactly is strength and what does it consist of? Our dictionary states that strength is simply the quality or state of being strong, in particular. I believe strength is more then just psychical but its what we can within stand. I believe people are able to show strength in all different ways. The people I consider strongest are the people who show integrity even in hardest of time. "“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”- Alex Karras I believe this quote says it all strength isn't the muscles but who we are through the trials. I believe showing compassion to the hopeless is strength. Being able to see past flaws is strength. Forgiving even through pain is strength. Being able to carry on even when the whole world is excepting you to fail this is strength. I hope to live my life with strength and courage because its an amazing gift to show people. 

A farewell.

Most people have been through the horrors of losing a loved one and if they have not at some point they will. I have a question why is it that death is so hard? Why is it that it causes so much pain and hurt. I also want to know why as a Christian this is still just as hard. I am blessed by knowing that there is a God and that he is preparing a home and how amazing heaven will be and yet the tears roll down my eyes all the same. Why is it even though we are not going through the psychical hurt our bodies ache all the same. Death has an incredible impact in someones life, it will either pull a family apart or back together. The thought of someone being gone for the rest our lives is a hand concept to swallow. But the thing to remember about death is that no matter how much it hurts the world goes on with out without that person so even if we want to stop and hold on we must let go and continue living..

Stress.

This week was midterms and it was stressful the word stressed means pressure or tension exerted on a material. Stress can cause so much such as mood swings, not eating, sickness, and head and body pains. This past week has pushed me to my limits has made me see what I can and can not handle. I had no sleep this week and defiantly no time to our self. I was up running around and writing papers. I would go to late and wake up early my brain had stopped working for me just to keep from loosing it.collage is much harder and yet here we are just trying to make it by I believe stress is going to be the death of many.

Annoyed.. grr

I am the kind of person who gets annoyed easily by little things this is something I try to work on and I pray about but this is something I always seem to fail at. There are two major things that get under my skin one is when people complain about what they can fix and the other is obsessive talking. When people complain about things they can fix but choose not to I tend to get really irritated. For example when people complain on loosing weight yet sit they’re eating fast food and drinking a diet coke. I feel if people want to make a difference they should stop talking and do it. I also do not like when people talk just to hear themselves speak this is the other major problem that leads to me being annoyed. When people talk while others are talking or better when a teacher is talking this annoys me the most because when people do this I get the message that what they are saying is more important or why else be speaking?

Pain.

I have felt my share of pain in my short time of living. I have two older brothers who loved to put me in pain either physical or mental pain depending on the day. Having two older brothers also made me into a tomboy, which caused me to have many falls that cause server pain. Even with all the pain my child hood had none of it compared to what I would face once I hit high school. I was a girl who was broken long ago but I thought someone had put things back together little did I know he would be the one to break me most of all. In my experience my heart pain has been the strongest of all. My body changed, my heart, my outlook on life, and I was gone. I could not eat everything made me sick I became skinner and skinner. While your heart is broken its like you are just going through the motions not really sure your alive. When your heart breaks you forget to take deep breaths because all of a sudden just breathing was hard work. I was angry with men because it was another one to add to the list after father number one and father number two. I had one father leave and cheat while spending years in jail while the other just cheated and left. The time I had to most pain was not when I fell off my dirt bike, when I fell face first in the street, or when I would fight with my brothers but when I stupidly allowed a young boy to break my heart.